


Children of the Tempest

by TheBlackFlamingo101



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Violence, Drug Use, M/M, Organized Crime, Underage Prostitution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:35:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4866761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlackFlamingo101/pseuds/TheBlackFlamingo101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Through unforeseen circumstances, Miyagi meets a young man who is hiding more than one secret in order to guarantee his survival. But the path he's taking is headed straight towards his own destruction and Miyagi must decide whether or not to intervene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unexpected Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my most recent story and the first one I'm uploading to AO3. I love Terrorist and I've wanted to do a story about them for quite a while, though this isn't really going to be a happy one.  
> My kinda/sorta inspiration for this was the Egoist fic "The Escort" by Don't Preach on FFnet.  
> I hope you enjoy and I look forward to hearing from everyone.  
> Love,  
> TBF101

Miyagi Yoh brought the coffee cup to his lips, taking a sip of the steaming liquid before glancing at his watch again. He sat at a small coffee shop not far from the university, and the table he had snagged he had a clear view of the door, which he vigilantly kept his eyes on. However, he had been waiting for at least fifteen minutes and was growing irritated.

 _That kid is late,_ he thought with a sigh. A wisp of annoyance flared up in his emotions, but it soon went out.

_Well, I was the one who asked him to meet me on such short notice. Then again, I didn’t even really want to get involved. Damn it all._

Miyagi took another swig of coffee, longing for the cigarettes in his coat pocket. On top of a busy week of classes, meetings, and fucking with Kamijou, Miyagi had to endure a couple trying encounters. One was with the lawyer handling his late parents’ bequeathed estate, one with his sullen landlord to fix his broken heater, and the other was his ex-wife Risako. He had made the grave mistake of going to see her to retrieve some DVDs he had lent her and was forced into listening to her woes for two hours. It didn’t help that she wasn’t entirely sober.

And when the topic drifted to someone else, Miyagi made his second mistake of asking about it.

“It’s Shinobu,” she had said. “I found out recently that he’s dropping out of high school and I think he’s making a huge mistake.”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?” Miyagi asked.

“Yes, but he won’t listen to me. He’s far too stubborn for me to persuade.”

From there, the conversation escalated into Risako begging Miyagi to meet up with Shinobu and convince him to change his mind. He was an educator after all and Shinobu would respect that more than her opinion.

 _Yeah fucking right,_ Miyagi had thought sourly. _She’s just afraid to handle a difficult situation. Big surprise._

Their divorce had been finalized nearly nine months ago, but it was becoming obvious that Risako was trying to weasel her way back into his life, which was greatly vexing. After all that talk with the counselor about how it was for the best and they need to take another look at their own individual selves. The fact of the matter was that those selves were incompatible. Their issues had jumped out of the suitcase and attacked the moment they moved in together. One person with a distinct set of issues was enough, but two had the result of a supreme shit storm. Frankly, Miyagi had no desire to reconcile at this point. He was ready to move on. But she was already having a meltdown in a few measly months, and it was exhausting to go through again.

But Miyagi found himself more annoyed than angry with her. He knew it wasn’t Risako’s fault she was like that, or at least not _all_ her fault. Three years ago, both of her parents had been killed in a car accident, and she had never recovered from it. What was worse, the only way she knew how to deal with it was hidden at the bottom of a wine glass. Miyagi’s own shadows only made hers darker, and before they knew it, they were both in an abyss of a marriage.

Miyagi shook himself out of these thoughts, knowing he needed to stop before he abandoned his post for a light up. He tapped his fingers irritably on the table and sighed.

 _Oh, grow a pair already. It’s not even that bad,_ he reasoned with himself. _I’ll have a quick meeting with the kid, and wash my hands of this entire mess. Problem solved._

The bell above the door suddenly dinged and the counter girl called out in greeting as a young man came inside. He pulled his rain drenched hood off his head, revealing a short mop of honey-blond hair. He went over to the counter and ordered a drink, then scanned the shop till he spotted Miyagi against the back wall. Miyagi smiled in greeting, but honestly, he was a little shocked at how Shinobu looked. It certainly had been a while, and he had changed.  

The youth’s clothes seemed to hang off him in a way that indicated he was a little too thin, his wet shoes were worn to the sole, and his jeans were all ripped up. Not only that, but his face was gaunt and pale, and purplish bags framed his lower eyelids. In all honesty, he looked like he belonged in a sketchier part of the city.

Shinobu’s lips pulled into a half smile at Miyagi and he paid for his coffee and came over.

“Miyagi-san,” he said as he dipped his chin. “It’s been a while. I was surprised to hear from you.”

“It’s good to see you, Shinobu-chin. How are you doing?”

“Fine,” Shinobu replied, sitting down in the seat across from Miyagi. He set his messenger bag down and wrapped his cold hands around his steaming mug to warm them up. “So, why did you want to meet with me?”

“Well, ahem,” Miyagi said, clearing his throat. This kid sure liked to skip to the point. “I, uh spoke with your sister recently…”

Miyagi inwardly sighed as Shinobu’s cloudy grey eyes darkened into a storm. From what he had gathered, Shinobu and Risako had an extremely strained relationship that was probably more irreparable than his marriage.

“She says you’re thinking about dropping out of school.”

Shinobu’s eyes lowered to his drink, and he picked it up to take a sip. “I’m not thinking anymore. I’ve already decided to.”

“May I ask why?”

“I can’t handle both my studies and my job. If I try to both it’ll just result in double the failure.”

“I see. Do you work that many hours?”

“I have to or I can’t afford my rent.”

Miyagi’s brow furrowed. “I thought you were living with your aunt. She makes you pay rent?”

Shinobu cocked his head, looking just as confused. “My aunt passed away over two years ago. I support myself now.”

“I didn’t know that,” Miyagi replied, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Once again, this was fast turning into a shit storm and if he didn’t jump ship soon, he had a feeling he’d have to get involved. There was nothing he would hate more. But all the same, he persevered. He briefly thought about asking Shinobu if Risako could help him out with money, but he had a feeling that would just make things worse. So he tried another approach.

“Well, couldn’t you talk to your teachers and see if they could make accommodations for you since you’re supporting yourself?”

Shinobu averted his gaze again. “I can’t. We’re not allowed to have jobs and if I told them about it, I’d be in deep shit.”

“It’d be a better option than dropping out. If you quit school now, it’ll be exceedingly hard to get back into when you need it. Don’t you only have one year left anyways?”

“It’s pointless for me to go to school when I just end up sleeping all through class and don’t have any time for the homework,” Shinobu replied. “My teachers have had it with me, not to mention my guidance counselor. I’ll save them all the trouble and just drop out.”

Miyagi’s forehead wrinkled as he pondered Shinobu’s troubling words. It set off more than one alarm bell in his scholarly head, and his spirit was getting riled. Even still, he kept cool and took another sip of coffee.

“Is your job really that taxing?”

Shinobu’s expression fell and he began to rifle through his coat pocket for his phone distractedly. “Uh, yeah. The hours can be pretty long and sometimes I don’t get a lot of sleep.”

“Couldn’t you ask your boss for accommodation then?”

“I doubt it,” Shinobu snorted, tapping away at the screen on his phone. “Besides, I told you I need the money.”

The teen then set down his phone and rested his elbows on the table. He looked like he was trying to figure out what to say.

“Look, Miyagi-san,” he finally blurted out. “I…I really appreciate you trying to help me and all, but my hands are pretty much tied. I’ll finish school once my situation is a little more stable. It’s understandable, isn’t it?”

“It is, but it’s also incredibly unfortunate,” Miyagi replied. “You’re too young to be making decisions like this on your own.”

Shinobu’s lips tightened and Miyagi could tell he was getting pissed. Risako had shown him the same expression many, many times before the lightning struck.  

“I’m not that young,” Shinobu muttered. “I’ll be eighteen soon. I could even join the military if I wanted to.”

“The military wouldn’t take a dropout.”

Shinobu’s mouth twisted into a snarl when Miyagi calmly retorted. He was very tempted to leave at this point, but took a deep breath and forced his anger down. He wasn’t about to let his temper ruin this. It was an unexpected and amazing gift to be able to see Miyagi again, and Shinobu was going to relish it. Even if it also royally pissed him off.

Seeing he was getting Shinobu a little more agitated than was ideal, Miyagi backed off and gave the teen a lop-sided smile.

“Hey Shinobu-chin, do me a favor will you? Don’t make any decisions yet. Think things over for a week or so and just make sure this is what you really want, okay? Will you do that for me?”

Shinobu’s expression shifted again and for a second the teen’s grey doe eyes looked slightly moist. But Shinobu quickly dropped his gaze, scratching at the chipping finish the on old wooden table with his thumbnail.

“Why are you doing this for me?” he asked quietly.

“Well,” Miyagi said, scratching the back of his neck as he tried to come up with something that at least sounded convincing. “I just hate to see potential wasted. I know you’re a sharp kid.”

Shinobu’s eyes went wide and Miyagi was surprised to see a light blush coloring his cheeks. He inwardly chuckled. This kid clearly wasn’t as hardcore as the thought he was, though it was entertaining to watch.

But Shinobu finally nodded and got up from his chair. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“Good lad,” Miyagi smiled. He took a sticky pad out of his briefcase and scribbled down a brief note. “Here’s my cell number. Let me know how it goes.”

Shinobu’s blush deepened and he accepted the sticky note with both hands. “I…I will.”

Miyagi nodded. “It was nice to see you again.”

Shinobu looked away, grabbing his shoulder bag and stuffing the note into his coat pocket. “Yeah, nice to see you too. I have to get going. I have to work in a few hours.”

“All right, I won’t keep you. See you later,” Miyagi said, taking a newspaper out of his briefcase and flipping to the sports section.

Shinobu left the shop in a hurry and shivered as he went back out into the damp winter air. He huddled deeper into his oversized coat, sticking his hands into his pockets. And when he felt the note that Miyagi had given him, a sad, tiny smile crossed his face. Miyagi’s words echoed in his mind, and Shinobu bowed his head against the pressure of the oncoming wind.

_Potential? It’s a little too late for that, Miyagi._

***

“Oy, Shinobu! Get the lead out,” a youth just a little bit bigger than Shinobu called from a worn-out lumpy couch in a dimly-lit living room. Muffled footsteps hurried down the hall and Shinobu appeared, slipping into a sweater and grabbing his coat from the hall closet.

“Sorry,” he replied. “I had a hard time covering it up.”

The other youth dipped his walnut-brown head in reply and popped an unlit cigarette between his lips as they shrugged on their coats and headed out the door into the cold night. They walked almost a dozen blocks in the frosty air towards a part of town that was glowing with bright lights and signs. The brunet boy reached over and took Shinobu’s hand, and as he whispered low words into Shinobu’s ear, the blond swallowed hard. After seeing Miyagi today and having a taste of happiness, it was even harder to come back here, but it had to be done nonetheless.

 _My hands are tied,_ Shinobu thought listlessly as he and the other boy headed into the neon fire.


	2. Forbidden Fruit

“Jesus H. Christ, it’s cold,” Miyagi growled to himself as he walked down the stone steps from the library. The winter night was blacker than the darkest ink, and the city lights had to work harder to fend off the darkness tonight. Miyagi let out a bellowing yawn that created a poof of a cloud in the air. He had come straight here from the university today to do some research for his own academic pursuits and had stayed much later than he intended. The assistant librarian was a friend of his and often let him stay past closing hours. It was after midnight now, and he knew it was time to hit the hay. He knew he would probably pay for bending over those old books for so long, but it was Friday night and he would have some time this weekend to relax.

Having missed the last train, Miyagi debated about whether or not to get a taxi. It was quite cold out, but his place wasn’t too far and he thought he could use a bit of exercise after all that deskwork. His footsteps echoed almost loudly in the empty streets, and the atmosphere was a bit eerie. It didn’t particularly bother him, and he began to dig in his coat pocket for his cigarettes. While searching, his fingers briefly touched his phone and he ended up taking it out, turning it on and checking for any missed calls or messages. There was a passive-aggressive one from Kamijou stating that he had finished grading Miyagi’s Intro class essays and would see him in the office on Monday, but that was it.

As he took his cigarettes out and lit one up, his thoughts wandered to Shinobu. It had been over a week since their meeting at the coffee shop, and so far he hadn’t heard anything. Miyagi knew he really shouldn’t be surprised by that. After all, he barely knew the kid, though he was a little regretful that he hadn’t been able to change Shinobu’s mind.

But something was still nagging at him about that whole situation. Why wasn’t Risako helping her brother out financially if she wanted him to stay in school? And what job was so strenuous that he couldn’t even keep up in class? Other high school kids managed part time jobs just fine. Shinobu had seemed rather reluctant to give any specifics, and it was more than likely he was hiding something. Everything was terribly fishy, and once again, Miyagi pondered about whether it was wise or not to dig deeper. He really didn’t have a right to pry, but Shinobu hadn’t seem too opposed to hearing him out at the time—

The sound of clanging metal suddenly rang through the streets, slicing into Miyagi’s ears and making him halt. Loud bangs continued to shatter the still night air, and Miyagi found himself heading in the direction of the cacophony. He turned a corner and looked down an alleyway, snubbing out his cig as he took in the scene. A stocky, muscled man who looked to be in his late twenties was shoving a much smaller figure to the ground, delivering a brutal kick that sent the victim crashing into a nearby dumpster with a metallic thud. Miyagi could hear a faint, snarling voice from the attacker, though he couldn’t make out exactly what he was saying.

His features firm, Miyagi took out his phone and pretended to dial a number. He wasn’t sure whether or not the guy had a weapon on him so it was better to play it safe. He made sure his footsteps could be heard as he came further into the alley.

“Yes, I’d like to report an assault happening right now. The perp is about 170 centimeters and wearing a black jacket with a large white symbol on the back. The address is half a block west of 32nd st—”

“Fuck!” the attacker yelled as he realized what Miyagi was doing. With an angry cry, he kicked the figure on the concrete once more and took off running, disappearing into the maze of alleyways.

Miyagi came closer and heard a weak groan from the victim. But despite being beaten against a dumpster, the second he noticed Miyagi approaching, he forced himself to his feet and began to hurry away.

“Hey! Wait!” Miyagi called, his pace increasing to a jog. “Are you okay? Let me call you an ambulance.”

“You don’t have to,” a shaky voice replied. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. You could have a concussion or something. You should get yourself checked out.”

“Fine, I will. But I’ll do it myself, thank you.”

Miyagi began to grow a little irritated but something abruptly made him pause. That tone of voice…it sounded familiar. Where had he heard that before?

A theory springing up in his head, Miyagi took a few quick strides and grabbed the figure’s shoulder. And when he turned him around, his eyes widened. Before him was a teenage boy with honey blond hair and eyes the color of a hurricane. But this boy was sporting a black eye, a swollen lip, and a nose that was streaming trails of blood.

            “Shinobu?”

            The boy sniffed, carefully wiping at his bloody nose with his sleeve. He kept his eyes lowered and tried to shift out of Miyagi’s tightening grip.

“Shinobu,” Miyagi said, leaning forward and trying to catch the youth’s gaze. “What happened? Did he mug you?”

Shinobu wordlessly shook his head.

“Do you know why he attacked you?”

The teen’s face twisted in panic and Miyagi gave his shoulders a bit of shake.

“Shinobu, answer me,” he said firmly. “Did you know who he was?”

The tone Miyagi used reluctantly unlocked Shinobu’s tongue. “Not personally, no.”

“Then who was he? Why did he beat you up?”

Shinobu struggled to breathe around the thick lump growing in this throat. This was a nightmare. After he had been so careful to keep this a secret, Miyagi just had to see him in this disgraceful state. Honestly he would have preferred the beat down.

“Shinobu!” Miyagi demanded.

Shinobu pried his mouth open and somehow formed words. “He…was a customer.”

Miyagi raised an eyebrow. “A customer? What do you mean? What were you selling…him.”

Miyagi’s words trailed off as he suddenly took a closer look at Shinobu. Underneath his big coat, he was only wearing a plain white T-shirt was crudely ripped at the collar. It had a few stains of blood on it as well as other wet splotches. His jeans were also stained and the fly was down. Shinobu’s skin looked damp and his hair was messy in a certain way that Miyagi recognized. The older man swallowed hard, knowing circumstances had just set him on a landmine.

“Shinobu,” he said calmly. “Did you… have sex with that guy… for money?”

Shinobu kept his head bowed and Miyagi knew the answer was pretty damn obvious. He released Shinobu’s shoulders and took his wrist in hand.

“Come on, we need to get you to a hospital.”

“No,” Shinobu retorted, jerking his arm back. “I can’t go to a hospital.”

“Why not? You’re beat to all hell.”

“I can’t, okay? Someone will find out. Look, it was only a few hits. I can take care of it.”

Shinobu turned and began to run down the dark alley. Miyagi opened his mouth to call out to him but was interrupted as Shinobu’s foot caught on a recycling box, causing him to stumble and land flat on his face. Miyagi sighed and rolled his eyes, walking over as Shinobu shakily tried to heave himself up. Miyagi grabbed one of his arms and started to help when Shinobu suddenly lashed out.

“Don’t touch me! I can do it myself!”

“Obviously,” Miyagi replied. “Come on, Shinobu-chin. We’ll get you cleaned up.”

“I told you, I’m not going to a hospital.”

“We aren’t going to one. My apartment’s not far from here and I have a first aid kit. Do you think you can make it there?”

Shinobu’s eyes looked at Miyagi fearfully, and he rubbed his bloody lips together as he tried to make a decision. He knew this was a bad idea. He knew he should just leave and go see Ei, but the chance to see Miyagi’s home was something he’d only fantasized about. And it was a forbidden fruit he couldn’t help biting into.

Shinobu let out a heavy breath through his nose. “I think I can make it.”

The teen allowed Miyagi to help him up and felt his face flush as Miyagi wrapped an arm around his lower back to help support him. They began to slowly headed back to the street, silent as the deserted streets as they walked to Miyagi’s apartment.  

***

“Here we are,” Miyagi said as he opened the door and turned on the light. Shinobu tentatively followed him inside and began to take off his shoes.

“Why don’t you give me your coat and I’ll hang it up to dry?” Miyagi asked. Shinobu paused and reluctantly handed it over. He was only wearing that ripped T-shirt underneath and goose bumps immediately covered his arms as he shivered.

“Why aren’t you wearing heavier clothes?” Miyagi asked as he put the coat onto a hanger. “It’s freezing out there.”

“I was, but I had to leave in a bit of hurry,” Shinobu murmured, wrapping his arms around himself. Miyagi sighed and grabbed a thick blanket from the top shelf of the closet.

“Come on,” he said. They both entered the living room and Miyagi gestured down the hall, handing him the blanket. “Go into the office, get out of your wet clothes, and warm up on the couch. I’ll find something for you to wear and get the first-aid kit.”

Shinobu nodded and headed down the hall while Miyagi went into the bathroom. And as soon as Miyagi shut the door and locked it, his face distorted into an expression of horrific disbelief and anger. He had kept his cool out there because he didn’t want Shinobu to get scared and run off, but underneath the façade he was absolutely livid. How long had this been going on? What would have happened if he hadn’t been there? How could Shinobu possibly be this stupid? And where the hell was his goddamned sister in all this?

Miyagi made the motion of banging his head against the wall repeatedly. _Why me?_

But shortly after, a wave of guilt crashed onto the shore of his insides. Here he was whining when there was a teenage boy in his living room who had just sold his body and been cruelly assaulted by the same guy. Miyagi sighed and grabbed the first aid box out of the cupboard. Now was time to just nut up and shut up. There were more important things to be taken care of.

Miyagi wiped the emotion off his face and left the bathroom, crossing the hall to his bedroom. He searched through his closet and bureau drawers, looking for something Shinobu could wear for the time being. He decided on a pair of flannel pajamas. Even though the kid would swim in them, at least he’d be warm. Shinobu could take a bath as well.

Miyagi paused for a moment as a question rose in his mind. In every crime show he had ever seen, the victims were encouraged never to shower after a sexual assault. Shinobu would wash away all evidence of what had happened, but he had also made it clear that he wasn’t going near a hospital. A kid showing up in that state would instantly get Social Services involved, and Miyagi could understand why that would terrify Shinobu. What he was dealing with now was akin to a wild animal: if Miyagi moved too quickly, Shinobu would just bolt. He had to slowly earn his trust, and that meant giving up on the hospital idea.

Regaining his composure, Miyagi left the bedroom and found Shinobu sitting on the couch wrapped in the blanket. He was still shivering.

“Oy,” Miyagi said, setting the pajamas and first aid kit on the coffee table. “Why don’t you go take a hot shower and soak in the tub? I’ll make us some tea and something to eat. Are you hungry?”

Shinobu hesitantly licked his lips. “I…guess so.”

“Okay. Go get cleaned up. And we’ll put some ice on your eye after you’re done to get the swelling down.”

Shinobu nodded and Miyagi headed into the kitchen. He began to prepare the tea as he watched Shinobu rise and retreat to the bathroom, casting a short glance at Miyagi along the way. While he was in the bath, Miyagi made tea, some instant miso soup, and produced two convenience store bento boxes out of the fridge. He was thankful he had stocked up on those the other day, considering he hadn’t been anticipating company.

But as Miyagi worked in the kitchen, his brow furrowed into a wrinkle that would make Kamijou envious. He knew that after he got Shinobu feeling a little better and safer, they would have to have a good long talk about things, and considering Shinobu’s stubbornness, it was going to be a formidable task. For what seemed like the thousandth time that evening, Miyagi sighed, not anticipating the time to come.  


	3. The Talk

Shinobu glanced at his reflection in the mirror, wincing a little as he touched his swelling eye. It was a bad one, and would probably get really dark. No amount of cover up would take that shiner away. But other than that, he seemed to be okay. He had wiped all the blood off his face and carefully dabbed at his scabbing lip and still throbbing nose. He had inspected his body as well. It didn’t look like there was anything seriously wrong, but that fucker who beat him up had left quite a few bite marks on his torso in addition to the bruises. He had also torn up his knees pretty badly on the concrete from falling so many times. Shinobu stepped back from the bathroom counter and then headed over to the shower. He had already filled the bathtub, but needed to get all the street grime off himself first.

Shinobu sighed as he felt the spray of the hot water on his frigid skin. He stepped into the shower and closed his eyes as warm rivets streamed over him, relaxing his tight muscles. Truth be told, he was still trying to calm himself down. After he made the decision to come to Miyagi’s, a sort of aftershock had hit him, and he was still tense from it. What had started out as a normal evening had turned terrible pretty quickly. Shinobu had just finished with his second customer of the night and was pulling on his clothes when the john had asked for his phone number. Already irritated about the unnecessarily rough sex they’d just had, Shinobu curtly replied that he didn’t give his number out. But unfortunately, he’d never been that great at lying when he was pissed, and the guy instantly saw through him.

Shinobu had bolted out of the apartment building, leaving some of his clothes and almost his shoes behind. But he had gotten winded quickly because of the sharp, cold air, and the john easily caught up with him and started to pound him into the concrete. The recent memories still branded fresh in his mind, Shinobu wrapped his arms around himself and took a few deep breaths.

_It’s fine… it’s all right,_ Shinobu reassured himself. _Things could be way worse. You’ve been through way tougher shit than this._

Shinobu lowered his head till his chin almost touched his chest. He had gotten his fair share of ass kickings by johns or other douchebags roaming the streets late at night. Some of them weren’t his fault, but his trigger happy mouth had caused more than a few. At one point, Shinobu would’ve justified the situation by thinking it wasn’t his fault that people were stupider than he was and it was simply his cross to bear. But after tonight, he was more determined than ever to curb his temper. He couldn’t keep getting beat up like this. He still had bruises on his back that were over a month old.

_Toru gets beat up a lot too_ , Shinobu pondered. _Even more than me._ _But he’s usually pretty calm, so why?_

Shinobu let out a heavy sigh and finally shoved the thoughts from his mind, grabbing a bar of soap and a wash cloth and scrubbing vigorously at his skin. As the suds multiplied, Shinobu breathed in the heavy, earthy scent of the soap. It smelled like Miyagi. Or rather, Miyagi faintly smelled like it. He had to admit, he was still amazed by what had happened. Who would have thought a shitty evening like this would also place him in Miyagi’s apartment? What were the odds?

There was no way this could be a coincidence. Was fate answering his call after all this time? Shinobu’s heart briefly fluttered with an emotion he had not felt in a long while, but it was soon crushed by rational thought. This wasn’t fate. Fate didn’t exist, and even if it did, Shinobu knew he could never be with Miyagi. He simply was not worthy, and he had made his peace with that years ago. And even though his eyes and heart stung, he knew he should stop complaining and just be grateful. It was nice to have the illusion of being close to Miyagi, and even though he knew he had a lot of explaining to do, Shinobu would relish this time and engrave every detail into memory.

Enjoying the sharp smell of the soap, Shinobu took his time washing himself. The scent was soothing his frayed mind into a much calmer mess. And after cleaning every inch of himself, Shinobu got out of the shower and crossed the bathroom to the tub. He climbed in and winced as the hot water stung his skinned knees. But he felt fatigue wash over him as he sank into the steaming hot water. With how relaxed he was, Shinobu knew he shouldn’t stay in the tub for very long, but it had been months since he’d had a proper bath. An everyday thing for a lot of people seemed like a luxury to him.

A few minutes later, he was fighting to keep his eyes open, and wearily worked up the strength to get out of the tub and towel off. He pulled on Miyagi’s pajamas, rolling up the sleeves and pant legs so he could move without impairment. Rubbing his damp blond head with a towel, Shinobu came out of the bathroom and saw Miyagi setting the table. He hung back for a moment, studying the casual Miyagi in the comfort of his own home, his jacket and tie gone and his dress shirt unbuttoned and untucked. He was so much more relaxed than Shinobu had ever seen him, and it was fascinating. But as much as he wanted to stare at Miyagi longer, Shinobu pried his eyes away and walked over to the table. Miyagi looked up as he approached.

“Thank you for letting me use your bath,” Shinobu said with a slight bow. He then glanced over to the table that Miyagi had finished setting. The sight and smell of the simple meal caused Shinobu’s empty stomach to roar to life and Miyagi beckoned him to sit down.

“I was exactly anticipating company,” Miyagi said as he took his own seat. “But it should be edible at least.”

“Uh, thank you, Miyagi-san,” Shinobu replied awkwardly. “I’m sure it’ll be great.”

The two ate in relative silence, though plenty of observation occurred. Miyagi’s eyes stole glances at Shinobu every now and then, who seemed very engrossed with his meal. In the light of his small dining room, Shinobu looked very pale, which made his darkening bruises seem even more gruesome.

Feeling the weight of a gaze, Shinobu peered up at Miyagi, and blushed red all the way up to his ears when he discovered that Miyagi had been watching him.

“You don’t have a fever, do you?” Miyagi asked, expertly drawing the attention away from himself. “Your face is all red.”

“N—no, I don’t think so,” Shinobu stuttered back, picking up his soup bowl and hiding behind it as he sipped from the rim.

The two finished eating and Shinobu lingered in his seat as Miyagi suddenly got up and grabbed an ice pack from the fridge. He wrapped it in a clean hand towel and came back to the table, handing it to Shinobu. The teen thanked him and pressed the cold compress to his swelling eye as Miyagi rejoined him. Miyagi leaned back in his chair and looked like he was ruminating for a few minutes. Shinobu knew the big talk was coming, and he averted his eyes, patiently waiting for the onslaught.

Finally, Miyagi sighed heavily and faced Shinobu with a mild but serious expression. “Okay Shinobu-chin, I realize this is going to be uncomfortable for both of us, but I need to know a few things. Will you answer my questions?”

Shinobu nodded without protest and Miyagi began.

“How long have you been doing…this?”

“A little over two years.”

“Did it start after your parents died?”

Shinobu nodded again. “After the accident, I went to live with my mom’s sister, but she wasn’t in very good health and died seven months later. I didn’t really have anywhere else to go, and it started around then.”

Miyagi knew this next question would be a bad one, but the situation overruled his dread. “What about your sister? Does she know?”

“Actually, it was more or less her idea,” Shinobu answered plainly.

Miyagi blanched. “What? How?”

“I guess she used to do the same thing when she was my age,” Shinobu replied with a shrug. “When I was living with her, she used to have dates over at night sometimes. A few of them were real shady scumbags and they got interested in me too. Surprisingly, Risako wasn’t angry about it. She said with my looks I’d probably be able to make some good money, so I started doing it.”

Miyagi felt like all the bones in his body had abruptly disappeared. He sank against the back of his chair, hardly able to believe his ears. Risako had actually coerced her underage little brother to sell sex to complete strangers. And she used to do the same thing. A few oddities he had noticed in their relationship but never understood suddenly appeared in his thoughts, and the big picture finally made sense.

Still reeling from it all, Miyagi pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “And this is why you want to drop out of school.”  

Shinobu shrank a little in his seat. “I don’t really have a choice. Shelter and food are my primary necessities right now.”

“Where do you even live? Why aren’t you staying with your sister?”

As soon as he asked that question, Miyagi realized he already knew the answer, but Shinobu indulged him anyway.

“Her?” he snorted. “You know why she can’t afford a better place? Because she spends so much on booze. I couldn’t take living with her anymore, so I moved out last spring. Now, I live in a two bedroom apartment with three other guys around my age, and we share the cost of rent.”

“I see,” Miyagi replied. “One other thing: if Risako doesn’t want you to drop out, why isn’t she helping you?”

Shinobu’s posture coiled like a snake ready to strike and his voice was low and angry when he answered. “Because she wants me to become so destitute that I have to move back in with her. When I turn eighteen in a few more months, I get access to my part of the trust my parents left. It’s way more than enough to put me through college, and she wants it pretty badly since she completely blew her half. Risako is only out for herself and the less I have to do with her the better.”

Miyagi reached into the breast pocket of his shirt, pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one. He breathed in his first puff greedily, his mind still spinning with the horror and disgust at what Shinobu had told him. Deep down, he acknowledged that his ex-wife had the potential to be vile and manipulative, but while he could handle being the target himself, Shinobu was a different matter. He was way too young for this kind of cruelty.

“So,” Miyagi said, taking another drag. “Tell me a little more about your living situation. Are you…making it okay like this?”

For the first time that night, a tiny smile pulled at Shinobu’s mouth and he laughed quietly.

“What’s so funny?” Miyagi asked.

“Nothing, really. I just think it’s funny how you treat me like a kid.”

“You _are_ a goddamned kid,” Miyagi retorted.

“Barely.”

It was Miyagi’s turn to smile. “No, Shinobu. You still have a long way to go. But answer my question.”

Shinobu nodded. “I’m okay. Better than I was a year ago. I only pay a fourth of the rent which isn’t too much, and my food budget is decent. The only problem is school. I could easily keep up with the lessons without going to class if I just had time to do them. But, it’s just getting too hard to balance everything.”

Miyagi listened patiently as Shinobu continued.

“And it’s not like I plan on doing this forever. I figure once I turn eighteen and get my trust, I can stabilize my situation more, resume school, then go on to college.”

“I’m glad you’re thinking about your long-term educational goals,” Miyagi replied. “But what if something happens in the meantime?”

Shinobu thought for a moment and replied. “I’ll just have to risk it.”

“And get beat up in the process?”

“Yeah, well…tonight was pretty much my fault, but I’m going to be more careful.”

Miyagi’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean your fault?”

“Uh,” Shinobu replied awkwardly. “I may have…told him off.”

For the second time that night, Miyagi began to lament his own woes. Not only was this kid in a very high risk situation, but he had a temper on top of it. This was going to be even more difficult.

_Wait,_ Miyagi thought. _What am I even planning to do?_

Miyagi sighed and put his cigarette butt out in the ashtray before lighting another. This was just too much to take in at once, and it was already two in the morning. Miyagi got up from the table and Shinobu glanced at him.

“We should tend to your injuries a bit more. We’ve waited too long already. And I’ll get you a pillow and some blankets. You can sleep on my couch tonight, and we’ll talk more in the morning.”

“It is morning,” Shinobu replied.

Miyagi sighed again. It was those kind of ill-timed, cheeky-ass comments that had probably gotten him beat up in the first place. But, brushing the wave of thoughts and emotions away, he called Shinobu over to the living room and opened the first aid kit.

 ***

A few hours later, the only noise in the apartment was the steady ticking of the clock in the kitchen, but not everyone was asleep. Shinobu lay on Miyagi’s couch, staring at the ceiling in contemplation. After Miyagi had bandaged his knees, he’d gone to bed and thought Shinobu had done the same. But the teen had remained awake. As a bit of morning light began to creep through the curtains, Shinobu carefully got up. Barely making a sound, he folded the blankets Miyagi had given him and stacked them on the couch. He padded over to Miyagi’s washing machine and dryer, pulling his now clean clothes out. After slipping them on, he went over to the dining room table, grabbing a paper napkin and writing a brief note on it. He set it on the table and took one last look around Miyagi’s apartment as he put on his shoes and coat. He breathed in the smell of Miyagi, feeling forlorn as he quietly went to the door, unlocking and opening it.

“Thank you for everything, Miyagi,” Shinobu whispered. “And…I’m sorry.”

With those last few words, Shinobu slipped out of Miyagi’s apartment and into the dim morning light.


	4. Sunshine

Shinobu murmured in his sleep as he stumbled back into consciousness and opened his eyes. He felt a warm hand stroking his hair and groggily lifted his head.

“Hey kid,” a voice said. “You look like you had a rough night.”

“Ryu-san?” Shinobu said, sitting upright and rubbing at his eyes. After leaving Miyagi’s this morning, he had headed back home and was so tired he just plopped down on the couch and fallen asleep.

“I thought you were gone till tomorrow,” Shinobu said, looking at his roommate, Hosho Ryuzaki, a taller man with a short, black ponytail.  

“We finished shooting early,” Ryuzaki said, giving Shinobu a small smile that turned into a frustrated sigh. “And thank fucking god we did. I fired an actor and cameraman right after the last take and all civility on set pretty much went out the window.”

Shinobu nodded in reply, though inside, he felt a touch sheepish. Although everything he had told Miyagi last night was true, the real proof was in the details he hadn’t provided. He actually lived in a three bedroom apartment that was nicer than his sister’s. He did have three roommates, but he had failed to tell Miyagi that the legal leaser of the apartment was Ryuzaki, an adult video director almost in his thirties. The second roommate was Kudo Naoya, who was 27 and made his living doing porn via webcam podcasts. Lastly there was Inoue Toru, who was a few years older than Shinobu and also tricked.

Shinobu couldn’t imagine how Miyagi would’ve reacted to this, but then again, he had revealed other shocking personal details. The way Miyagi had handled things actually gave Shinobu a desire to tell Miyagi about himself. Another pang of guilt made his chest ache and Shinobu already felt weary even though his day had just begun.

“What time is it?” Shinobu asked.

“About one o’clock,” Ryuzaki replied. “I just picked up lunch actually. Hungry? I have extra.”

“Sure,” Shinobu nodded. “Thanks.”

Ryuzaki headed into the kitchen and Shinobu followed, his mouth watering as he smelled the takeout.

“You the only one here?” Ryuzaki asked as he handed Shinobu a Styrofoam container and a pair of disposable chopsticks.

Shinobu shrugged. “I’m not sure. Though if Toru or Naoya had come in, they probably would’ve woken me up.”

“True,” Ryuzaki replied. As Shinobu turned to get a bottle of soy sauce out of the fridge, he felt cold, gentle fingertips touch the side of his face.

“That’s a nasty shiner, kid,” Ryuzaki said, closely inspecting the bruise as Shinobu winced. “How’d you get that?”

“I told off a shithead.”

“Figures. But damn, Shinobu, how are you going to work with that elephant in the room?”

Shinobu sighed. “I don’t know. I may just have to take a week off until I can cover it up. Last time I had a black eye I only seemed to attract the type of guys I’ve been warned about.”

“Well,” Ryuzaki said. “Do you have plans for next weekend?”

“Not really. Just the usual.”

“How’d you like to spend it with me?” Ryuzaki asked, wrapping an arm around Shinobu’s shoulders. “I need to de-stress after a week of shooting or I’m going to put my co-director’s head into the wall.”

“Uh, sure,” Shinobu replied. “When?”

“Friday night to Sunday morning, and then I take off again early Monday. Free rent for the month sound good?”

Shinobu’s heart dropped into his stomach. If the amount was that high, it was likely Ryuzaki intended to get into some really heavy stuff. Shinobu swallowed at the thought, but forced a smile and nodded. The amount was too much to pass up.

“Great,” Ryuzaki said. “We could even grab dinner Friday night if you want. I have vouchers for that new restaurant over by the cinema.”

“Sounds good,” Shinobu replied. He picked up the pair of chopsticks and took a few bites of his food, even though he no longer had an appetite.

Suddenly, Ryuzaki’s phone started to beep and he winked at Shinobu as he took his food and retreated to the master bedroom to take the call. As soon as he was gone, Shinobu heaved a sigh.

No longer that hungry, Shinobu wrote his name on the container and put it in the fridge. He then went to the opposite end of the apartment to the room he shared with Toru. Shinobu glanced around the bedroom and noted that Toru’s backpack was gone. It usually meant he was pulling an all night job, but it was odd that he wasn’t back yet.

Shinobu pulled his ripped T-shirt over his head and took off his jeans, replacing them with clean clothes. He then found his school backpack and began to dig through it. Since he would make his entire month’s rent next weekend, he wouldn’t have to go out tonight and could probably get some homework done. But as he flipped open his math notes and started to scan the hand writing, he realized that he wasn’t even comprehending anything.

Shinobu closed the notebook, realizing that his apprehension about next weekend was affecting him more than he thought. He just couldn’t concentrate right now, so he decided to try something else. Digging through his bag, he found a small novel with an orange cover. His advanced English class required him to read a book in that language, and he had chosen an American novel called _The Catcher in the Rye._ Mainly because he had heard that this book was really controversial and even banned in its country of origin, and he was curious to see what the fuss was about.

So far, he hadn’t really found anything worth banning. It was actually a pretty boring story, not to mention the main character was kind of stupid and rambled on for pages and pages littered with swear words. Shinobu thought the only controversial thing about it was why people would like such a tasteless book, but for some reason, he had kept on reading it.

Shinobu got up and went over to the double bed up against the wall, laying down with a sigh. The bed had belonged to Toru’s last roommate, but he left it behind when he moved. It was so much nicer than a futon that Shinobu didn’t even mind sharing it with Toru.

Flipping open the novel, Shinobu tried to relax and take in the words, but soon found his mind wandering again. This always happened. Like the ominous calm before the storm, Shinobu found himself tense and anxious before he had to spend a weekend with Ryuzaki. He sighed, already regretting his decision.

Even though his instincts warned him against it, Shinobu had serviced Ryuzaki quite a bit. On the surface, he was an easy-going, generous guy. Which was a good thing, because the rough and intense sex he favored often left Shinobu unable to work for a week or so. Being an AV director, Ryuzaki had honed his own fetishes and had very specific tastes that would scare ordinary people. He dipped into bondage and role-playing frequently, which was mentally exhausting as well. Especially because Shinobu absolutely hated role-playing. Even though he knew it was benign, he hated pretending to be something he wasn’t. It was very much ingrained in his nature, but he bore it and played the victim for his patron. Just thinking about it made him sick inside. But Shinobu sighed as the wheels of his mind took him to another side of the picture. At least Ryuzaki bothered to be nice about it. Few others did. The sex made him incredibly uneasy, but Shinobu couldn’t see a good enough reason to refuse him. It was his job so he really didn’t have a choice anyway.

This conclusion yanked Shinobu out of the illusion that he could enjoy his book in peace, and anger boiled in his chest. He hated this feeling of helplessness. The weekend ahead loomed over him like a great beast at his back, watching and waiting to devour him. And he couldn’t do a thing about it.

With a small cry of anger, Shinobu grabbed the paperback and threw it across the room. It hit the door with a thud, and Shinobu titled his head as he suddenly heard the sound of a door slamming shut and voices yelling. He listened closely and was able to tell that there were two different voices. He recognized them immediately and sighed as they grew louder and louder. The door to the room opened and a dark-haired boy came in, turning around to throw out a few last words.

“Hey Kudo, do us all a favor: tighten your frilly thong and stop being such a bitch.”

Shinobu clamped a hand over his grinning mouth as Naoya furiously shrieked back, but Toru simply shut the door and took another drag of his cigarette.

“Hey,” he said, dropping his backpack onto the floor.

“What was that about?” Shinobu said with a smile.

“Just Naoya bitching about me smoking in here. If Ryuzaki gets to, so do I.”

“But Ryu isn’t here very much,” Shinobu replied.

“Do I care?”

Shinobu laughed under his breath at Toru’s ever-present pragmatism, studying him as he took off his coat and hoodie. Toru claimed to be 23, but he looked young enough to be Shinobu’s age. He had an oval face, with flat, dark eyes, and pale lips accentuated by a silver stud below them. Toru seemed to feel Shinobu’s gaze and glanced over at him before snubbing out his cigarette and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“What happened? You get your ass kicked last night?”

“More or less.”

“Did you go see Ei?”

Shinobu shook his head, a little sick of explaining this. “No, it’s not that bad.”

“Maybe, but you won’t be able to work looking like that.”

“Well, I don’t need to worry actually.”

Toru raised an eyebrow, and his keen eyes gave Shinobu’s demeanor a closer look. “Why?”

Shinobu sighed, his expression falling. “I’m spending next weekend with Ryu.”

Toru’s lips twisted in disgust. “Sorry.”

Shinobu’s eyes dropped to the folded hands in his lap, his insides feeling hollow. Only when he felt Toru climb up and sit next to him did he look up. Toru wrapped an arm around him, lightly stroking his hair. Shinobu leaned into the touch, feeling more than a little vulnerable after what happened last night on top of the job to come. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. Shinobu found his relationship with Toru rather strange at times. He hardly knew anything concrete about his roommate, but he had learned more about tricking in five minutes with Toru than six months on his own. He relied on Toru’s experience, and for some reason, Toru always looked out for him. And as they spent day after day and night after night working and living together, Shinobu found himself becoming attached to Toru’s side.

“Did Ryuzaki offer you free rent?” Toru asked.

Shinobu nodded.

Toru rolled his eyes. “That fuck always plays you like that. People like him are scum.”

“I don’t mind him as a person,” Shinobu muttered. “I just hate fucking him.”

“What’s to like?”

“Exactly.”

“Remember Shinobu,” Toru said. “I was fucking him years before we even knew you. I know how much of a douche he really is.”

“At least you understand,” Shinobu sighed. “It’s like he gets turned on by me screaming, which creeps me out. Everything always has to be done exactly like he likes it or he goes nuts. Oh, and we _always_ have to fuck to techno or dubstep or whatever that shit is called. I hate techno! I will never like techno!”

Toru studied Shinobu curiously as he listened to the rant. “Are you that rattled about a job?”

Shinobu’s cheeks flushed and he swallowed hard. Toru easily figured out the answer and shifted till they were sitting face to face.

“Listen, one thing I know about Ryuzaki is he can’t stand uncertainty during playtime. If you’re that upset about this, you’re going to be way too tense by next weekend and he’s not going to like that.”

Shinobu’s eyes began to water. Last time, that’s exactly what happened and he didn’t want a repeat. “Well, I don’t know what to do about it.”

Toru glanced down to his backpack on the floor. “If you want, I have something that could help you.”

“What is it?”

Toru slid off the bed and took a black makeup bag out of his backpack. He unzipped it and pulled out several items Shinobu didn’t recognize. A strong, heedy smell hit Shinobu’s nose as he inspected them, and he immediately knew what Toru was talking about.  

“I don’t know,” Shinobu said nervously. “Weren’t you the one who told me never to do drugs on a job?”

“Yes, but pot is not in the same category as the ones I warned you about like opium or heroin. There’s no physical dependency and it’s impossible to overdose on. The worst that can happen is you’ll build up a tolerance and won’t feel the high as much.”

“But how will it even help?”

“It’ll relax you so you don’t implode from thinking too much,” Toru replied plainly. “You’ll probably get the munchies and take a nap, plus it makes some people pretty horny. You can try a hit and see if it takes your mind off things.”

“Even if it does work,” Shinobu said as another thought came to mind. “Won’t Ryu be pissed if I’m high this weekend?”

Toru gave him a knowing look. “No chance in hell. He and I used to smoke a bowl every time we played. He can’t do it at work, but he loves the stuff in his free time.”

Shinobu lowered his eyes, finding it very difficult to make a decision. He didn’t have any real knowledge of drugs, only a healthy fear. But when Toru offered it to him, the rules were different. Shinobu used to question a lot of Toru’s advice when they first met, but Toru had simply challenged him to find out which of them was right.

Toru had never been wrong about stuff like this, and Shinobu began to reconsider. Toru had never done anything to hurt him before, and he did trust his roommate way more than Ryuzaki.

“Shinobu,” Toru said when he didn’t get an answer. “If you don’t want to, all you have to do is say no.”

Shinobu shook his head, then looked up at Toru. “Okay, I’ll try it.”

Toru nodded and began to fiddle with the items from the makeup bag. Shinobu watched curiously as Toru took out a small glass pipe with colorful rainbow streams and loaded the bowl. He then found a lighter and tested it out.

“Here,” Toru said, handing Shinobu the pipe but keeping the lighter. “I’ll light it for you so you don’t burn yourself. Suck in, but not too hard.”

Shinobu nodded and put the pipe to his lips. Toru lit the bowl and Shinobu grimaced as he inhaled the smoke. It felt kind of gross, but he endured it, closing his mouth as Toru took the pipe away. Shinobu felt his throat and lungs burn and he instantly coughed it all up, hacking violently as he tried to regain his breath. Toru reached over and gently rubbed his back.

“First time’s the hardest.”

Shinobu panted a little and nodded, watching with teary eyes as Toru took his hit. It was oddly graceful the way he lit the pipe and held in the smoke twice as long, blowing it out with a tranquil sigh.

Shinobu put a hand to his temple as a strange feeling started to creep over his head. It was like he was dizzy, and soon it began to spread till his entire body felt light. At first it just made him anxious, but as a peaceful fog settled down on him, he began to relax. Shinobu grunted in surprise as he felt Toru shift and embrace him from behind.

“You feeling it?” he said as he rested his chin on Shinobu’s shoulder.

“Think so,” Shinobu replied, breathing a heavy sigh as his body started to tingle. It felt really good, almost ticklish, and a smile grew on Shinobu’s face as he began to feeling increasingly happy. He leaned back against Toru, humming in pleasure as he rested his cheek against Toru’s neck. His skin was so warm and smooth.

“Feel better?” Toru asked.

“Mhmm,” Shinobu replied. For a moment, he almost couldn’t remember what he’d been so upset about. And even when he did, the situation didn’t seem nearly as worrisome.

Toru reached for his phone and tapped a few buttons on the screen. Soft rock music began to play and Shinobu was instantly fascinated by the sounds. He felt like all the lines of melody and rhythm wafting through the air were going through his fingertips and flowing into his veins. It was amazing.

Shinobu and Toru changed positions, lying on their backs with Shinobu’s head resting on Toru’s chest. Shinobu hugged his roommate’s torso. He was so warm and comfortable, and the scent of cigarettes came from his clothes. The smell reminded him of Miyagi.

“Why does Naoya even fucking care about you smoking in here?” Shinobu whined, his heightened state making his tongue loose. “The smell isn’t half as bad as his bitching. He’s a douche, just like Ryuzaki.”  

Toru gave him a smile. “No, Ryuzaki’s a douche. Naoya’s a tool. There’s a big difference.”

Shinobu burst into a fit of giggles that shook his entire body. Toru watched him with amusement, laughing a bit himself as he rolled onto his side and pulled Shinobu closer.

“You’re cute when you giggle,” he murmured into Shinobu’s ear. A soft moan escaped Shinobu as Toru suckled his earlobe, and he was amazed to feel the tingling in his body concentrating in his lower half. He felt so sensitive and he hadn’t even been touched yet.

Toru’s mouth moved lower and began to gently nibble Shinobu’s neck, making him sigh. With Toru’s touch and the music in the air, Shinobu was in the most euphoric state of his life. Everything seemed so distant, and he was glad for even a brief reprieve. Toru kissed him and Shinobu wrapped his arms around his neck, letting his roommate shift on top of him. Toru started to mouth Shinobu’s neck again, and was surprised to hear him murmur.

“Toru,” Shinobu said. “This is dubstep, right?”

Toru listened to the music briefly. “Yeah. So?”

Shinobu smiled. “Fuck, I actually like it. The saxophone is nice.”

Toru stared at Shinobu with an expression that was far too complex for Shinobu to interpret in his condition.

“I do too,” he replied, catching Shinobu’s mouth again. As things heated up, the slow beat of the song meandered through the room, though both of the occupants were too distracted to comprehend it any more.  

_“When I look at you…all my grey skies turn to blue…I am the sunshine.”*_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Song: Sunshine by Submotion Orchestra  
> Thanks to Zueira and Daniel Lazerus for the comments and kudos!


	5. Sleeping Dragon

Shinobu slowly opened his eyes and yawned, feeling a little groggy as he awoke. He was lying with his head on Toru’s shoulder, and as he shifted, Toru looked over from the game on his phone.

“What time is it?” Shinobu muttered, feeling like he had déjà vu.

“Almost seven,” Toru replied, sitting up and stretching his arms. Shinobu remained lying on his side for a few more minutes, still feeling tired. The combination of last night and Toru’s weed had put him to sleep like a baby after the euphoria of being high wore off. After things started to heat up, Toru and Shinobu had blown each other, which felt simply mind blowing with their senses heightened. Shinobu had then returned to the fridge to obliterate his takeout and passed out on the bed.

Reflecting on it, Shinobu had to admit being high was quite an experience, not to mention it certainly had distracted him. It was like he had a thick blanket wrapped around his consciousness all afternoon, dulling any pain or worrying thought he encountered. And as he remembered the safe, cocoon-like sensation, he began to think how much faster and better a weekend with Ryuzaki would go if he could retreat to that same place. He might almost be able to enjoy the creepy sex. 

Shinobu felt something inside him break when he decided to use again this weekend. He didn’t know if that something was good or bad, but it had broken all the same.

 Shinobu slowly sat up and chewed his bottom lip with his teeth. “Uh, Toru…”

Toru glanced at him. “What’s up?”

“Do you…think I could have some of that for this weekend?”

Toru paused for a moment then started to chuckle. “You got so serious all of a sudden I thought you were upset about us going to third base. Yeah, I’ll fix you something for this weekend and I’ll mention it to Ryuzaki. Not surprisingly, he’s pretty mellow playing ‘master’ when he’s stoned and I’m sure I can persuade him to indulge.”

Shinobu’s anxiety lifted and he smiled gratefully. “Toru, thank you so much.”

Toru smiled back, but Shinobu noticed it didn’t quite touch his eyes. “Don’t worry about it. Hey, do you want to go to Ei’s with me in a few?”

“Why are you going there?” Shinobu asked, tilting his head. They usually only went to Ei’s place when they were injured.

“He told me Kaede-san is off tonight so he can take the stitches out of my foot.”

Shinobu’s face twisted into a grimace. He had forgotten about that. About three weeks ago, Toru had mistakenly tried to pick up an undercover cop and ended up running twenty blocks from the police. Along the way, he had stepped on a piece of glass the size and shape of a spearhead. Fueled by adrenaline, Toru hadn’t even noticed until he made it back to the apartment and the tip of the shard was poking out of the top of his blood-soaked shoe. Ei and Kaede had made a rare house call that night and Toru had twelve stitches in his foot. Even the memory of all that blood staining the kitchen floor made Shinobu sick. 

“Sure, I'll go with you,” Shinobu replied. If Toru was going to do him such huge favors, Shinobu was more than willing to go along and keep him company. Plus he hadn’t seen Ei in a while, so the two of them shrugged on their coats and left the apartment. The still night air was frigid, and Shinobu hugged himself as they headed down the sidewalk.

“You cold?” Toru asked as he lit a cigarette.

“A little,” Shinobu replied, his jaw already beginning to chatter.

Toru wrapped his free arm around Shinobu’s shoulders so they could huddle together.

“Come on,” he said. “The station isn’t far.”

Shinobu pressed against Toru’s warmth and tried to concentrate on it until they were safely on the train. The cars weren’t very crowded and they had no trouble finding seats. As soon as the train began to move, Shinobu pulled out his phone and unlocked it. He felt a twinge of sadness that there were no calls or messages from Miyagi. Shinobu had written his cell number down on a napkin for him to find before he’d left, and he expected to hear from him fairly quickly. But it seemed that wasn’t the case, and Shinobu tried to look at the situation from another angle.

_Maybe it’s better this way,_  he thought.  _If Miyagi doesn’t get involved, I won’t have to worry about him telling someone._

It seemed logical, but even though Shinobu could justify it in his head, the thought still made him feel despondent. He shoved his phone back in his pocket, sinking further into his seat as the train whipped through the dark tunnels.

Shinobu dreaded stepping into the cold again when they made it to their stop, but Ei’s place wasn’t that far. Both boys had traveled much further distances to get here in more dire circumstances. Shinobu had met Takagawa Ei and his partner Hara Kaede through Toru, and he was very grateful that he had.

Ei had a history similar to their own, as he had also tricked over a decade ago when he was in his twenties. Although he rarely provided specifics, Shinobu had the feeling that Ei had experienced everything he had and so much more. He didn’t know the details, but apparently things were extremely rough for Ei around the time he met Kaede. Despite this, the two had fallen in love and been together for the past twelve years. Ei had stopped tricking for Kaede, and now he made it a point to help others in the same situation. Shinobu and other teens who knew Ei could show up at his door day or night if they needed medical treatment and couldn’t risk going to the hospital. As a successful tattoo artist, Ei had a few medical supplies on hand and a good knowledge of first aid. They could deal with serious injuries as well thanks to Kaede being a nurse practitioner. The first time Shinobu had met them, he’d sported a badly sprained wrist and a broken finger, and had been amazed by what they could do in just their apartment. Kaede could even write prescriptions if needed.

Shinobu was relieved as they turned a corner and walked up to the tattoo parlor on the darkening street. The shop was closed today, but the lights in the apartment above it were on. They went down an alley next to the building and climbed the stairs that led up to the second level. Toru knocked on the door and it opened a few moments later.

“Hey kids,” Ei said warmly. He was a lean man with a handsome smile, and it was quite easy to guess his profession. Ei had bold tribal tattoos climbing up his wrists and even one on the side of head. One half of his head had thick black hair, but the other half was shaved to show off the design of a sleeping dragon with plumes of smoke drifting from its nostrils.

“Doing all right, Shinobu?” Ei asked as he stepped back from the door.

Shinobu nodded and Ei turned to Toru, a look of disappointment crossing his face.

“Oh, I guess you came along too.”

A small smile crept up on Shinobu’s face at Ei’s taunting. They always gave each other a hard time. Toru only rolled his eyes and followed Shinobu inside the eclectically decorated apartment. Hanging on the walls were paintings, intricate tattoo designs, and oddly enough, four or five posters for the movie  _My Neighbor Totoro._ Shinobu remembered seeing Kaede wear scrubs with totoros on them, so maybe he really liked that movie or something.

Ei lead them into the living room to sit around a low table where Kaede was already pouring tea. Ei’s partner was on the shorter side, with chestnut hair and modern thick-framed glasses. Shinobu bowed as he entered the room and Kaede gave him a smile. Even though he was young and petite himself, Shinobu always had the weird thought of just how  _cute_  Kaede was. He was over thirty, but he looked young like Toru and blushed like a fourteen-year-old girl. He was also quiet and shy, rarely speaking to anyone but Ei, but Shinobu knew Kaede was fiercer than he looked. But he was also kind, and within a few minutes, he was already working on the stitches in Toru’s foot. Watching the process made Shinobu squeamish, and he concentrated on his tea, grateful for the warmth that seeped into his stiff limbs. Ei cleared his throat and turned towards him.

“So…how old is that black eye, Shinobu?” Ei asked.

Even though he was tired of questions about last night, Shinobu knew Ei was just trying to help. He had noticed Ei and Kaede exchanging a few poignant looks before Ei finally asked. Shinobu also knew that they preferred to get involved without really getting involved. If Shinobu asked for help, they would wholeheartedly oblige, but prying was a different matter.

“Last night,” Shinobu replied. “It’s fine though, I put ice on it right away.”

Ei nodded, breathing a heavy sigh. “Damn, and you went quite a while without getting bashed up too. And Toru gets twice the amount of ass kickings. I swear to god, I got beat up back in the day, but not this often. Why is that?”

Shinobu’s eyes wandered from face to face as Ei pondered for a moment. And while Toru’s face was impassive, he noticed that Kaede’s eyes were a little stonier that usual.

“Now that I think about it,” Ei finally said. “There are a lot of crazy johns who just like to thrash the younger, prettier ones. And unfortunately sick fucks like that make up a good amount of the clientele. Be careful when you’re out there, both of you.”

Shinobu nodded but Toru didn’t react, taking another sip of tea as Kaede finished removing the stitches.

“That should do it,” Kaede said. “You kept them clean so there shouldn’t be any infection.”

Ei laughed. “From the way he was freaking out that night, you would have thought he was dying.”

“I didn’t freak out,” Toru replied plainly.

“You cried as hard as you did when you let your lip piercing get infected.”

“That wasn’t my fault. I smoked almost a pack a day back then. What did you want me to do, carry a bottle of mouth wash everywhere for six weeks?”

“I told you what to do and you just didn’t listen,” Ei replied. “Yuri listened to me and his septum was fine.”

Shinobu tilted his head in confusion as Toru’s eyes suddenly went wide, but he couldn’t tell whether it was from fear or anger. But Toru kept a bottle on it as usual and turned to him with a slight smile.

“Hey Shinobu, you should ask these two ask they met. It’s a great story.”

The atmosphere in the room seemed to instantly electrify and Shinobu shrunk as Kaede’s expression twisted with silent rage.

Ei scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Oh, we don’t need to get into that. It’s all in the past, right baby?”

Kaede suddenly stood, glaring daggers down at Ei. “Don’t ‘baby’ me, Takagawa.”

Shinobu winced as Kaede stormed down the hallway and slammed the door with a sickening thud. He almost wondered if they should leave now, but redirected his attention when Ei sighed.

“Goddamnit, he only calls me ‘Takagawa’ when I’m in really deep shit.”

But Ei’s woe quickly turned to anger and he shot Toru a look. “That was below the belt, asshole.”

Toru didn’t reply, his expression completely unrepentant. Wanting to break the tension, Shinobu asked the first question that came to his mind.

“So, how did you? Meet, I mean.”

Ei sighed again. “Uh, we don’t really talk about the first time we met. Helps keep the peace.”

“Why?”

“Don’t tell anyone this, but the first time I met Kaede, I made him cry his eyes out and slam a door so hard he broke a hinge.”

“How’d you do that?”

“I said something that’s really not worth repeating. You can tell how bad it was by the fact that he’s still mad about it twelve years later. And I have a long night of sucking up ahead so you two should probably scat.”

“Can I use your bathroom really quick?” Shinobu asked as he got up.

Ei nodded and Shinobu went down the hall, going into the bathroom and glancing at his black eye in the mirror briefly. It had gotten a lot darker and uglier, so it was no wonder that Ei brought it up. After taking a piss, Shinobu was just about to leave when his phone chirped. He took it out and his heart began to pound rapidly when he saw a text from Miyagi. As much as he was dying to read it, Shinobu hesitated, fearful of what words the man had to offer. But he finally reassured himself that it was just a text, and opened it.

_Meet me at the Tokyo library tomorrow at 5pm. Bring your homework._

Shinobu had a dozen different scenarios racing through his head before he read the message, but that was definitely not one of them. Why did Miyagi want to meet him at the library? Was this some kind of a joke?

Shinobu groaned and shoved his phone back in his pocket, knowing that he had a lot of thinking to do tonight. But as he went back out into the hall, he heard angry whispers coming from near the entryway.

“What? Are you mad because I brought up Yuri?” Ei said.

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Toru shot back.

Shinobu was stunned by Toru’s voice. It was shaky, angry, and full of anguish. He’d never heard Toru sound so upset.

“You never want to talk about it,” Ei pressed. “And that’s why you still flip shit whenever someone says his name.”

“Ei stay the fuck out of my goddamn business, okay?”

Hearing the conversation get more heated, Shinobu went back to the bathroom door and shut it noisily enough for them to hear. The voices died down and Shinobu headed back down the hall and over to the entryway where Toru and Ei were.

“Bye Ei,” Shinobu said. “Thank you.”

“Take care, you two,” Ei said as went out the front door. “Be careful.”

Shinobu nodded and waved before huddling back into his coat as they walked into the cold air. Toru had lit another cigarette before they even made it to the street, and Shinobu titled his head in concern.

“Um Toru, are you okay?”

Toru turned and smiled at Shinobu, all traces of malice gone but his eyes still strangely flat. “Yeah. Why’d you ask?”

“No reason,” Shinobu replied, his mind brimming with questions as they walked in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the kudos! Enjoy!


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